Peace?

There is something of a cruel irony in the conclusion of this disease. 6:20am October 6, 2005 she went to have tea with her parents, her brother Peter, her Auntie Nelly - I'm quite sure my Mom and Dad are there with her too - strange things been happening in my house, I'll post a paranormal post at a later date.

Witnessing her discomfort, her pain, the slow methodical stripping of her physical dignity, the weakening... you want nothing more than for her to have peace, to let go, to pass over. When she does there's a momentary sigh, she has peace now.

You hang on to that peace, because you feel anything but peace huh?

The funeral will be next week. I have been through a full Catholic mass 2 other times in 20 years - for my Mother's funeral and my Fathers... this will make 3. I mention I detest the premise of it? I'll even do the prayers ceremony the night before - I remember I was baffled how after all those years, the rosary came back to me word for fucking word (had my Irish Nana on one side of me and my Dad on the other... if I'd have slipped up I mighta got a swat upside the head - damn pressure that! *laughing*)

We did get some giggling out of it all, 'cuz it's not like I'm not used to spending 40 minutes on my knees, I'm just not usually praying at the time *laughing*

I just want to say a massive thank you - the warmth, the compassion, the support you all have shown me is quite overwhelming. Thank you.