I've Lost Focus

I think in life we learn along the way the things that... work for us in keeping us grounded, focussed, whole. Sure life always throws some shit our way and we get a little off kilter, that's part of living fully awake. But if we've got that grounding, we're like those big inflated clown things with the weight in the bottom, we blow around in the wind, even fall over, but we pop back up, ya know.

This last year, I stopped doing those things I know provide me with grounding. My life got busy, more demands, transitions, unknowns... and I just... slowly stopped feeding my Spirit. I so SO know better than this. I know what happens, and here I am... not quite whole, feeling a little lost, life out of focus, blurry.

Here's what I miss:

• getting my 5 workouts in a week - regularly, consistently - this is about showing respect for my body
• reflecting time... sometimes meditation, sometimes reading something to reinforce my chosen belief system, quiet peaceful time to breathe - alone!
• more outside time - earth energy is powerful, I need it, I know this, I've neglected it too long
• writing time - also something that has been... rushed, slipped in... it needs it's own space in the pie chart of my life
• one-on-one time with my babies... each of them so different, all full of life in the way only children know

I'm doing that counselling thing. I've done a few different types in my lifetime, for specific reasons, always highly successful in moving me forward. For me, it's a way of taking time to look at myself, my life, my direction.