My life in the last few months has been a train wreck... the engine that is my Spirit can't move me forward... the cars all derailed and bunched up and in the wrong order, strewn over fields and in the streets. The mother car, wife car, friend car, self car, professional car, child car, free spirit car, responsible car, lover car, slut car, sister car, daughter car.... and all their cargo of love, respect, consideration, fear, peace, excitement, adventure, lust, courage, honesty, vulnerability, generosity, affection, sadness, fulfillment, disappointment, playfulness, laughter, risk, intimacy, confusion, bliss, hope, euphoria, pain, clarity, wildness, betrayal, contentment, connection, delight, commitment, ecstasy, optimism, anxiety, integrity - all the things that make us feel alive - they're all toppled... spilled... mixed together. I need a HASMAT team to clean up the toxic mess, separate all the elements of humanness and put them back in the right places, get my train back on the track.
posted by MysticSpirit (Sass) at 10:57 AM
4 Comments:
"I hear the train a comin', it's rollin' down the tracks"
Let me know if I can in any way help rerail the derail
"wish I was a headlight on a north bound train"
Hope you find a bit of peace Mystic.
The thing you have going for you is you've got a pretty solid foundation. Your three babies. And the fact you still consider your important other to be more than just a spouse, to be your lover and friend.
As a former family law lawyer, I guess the biggest consideration is what you need to be the best person you can be, the best mom in particular.
You know in your heart what you want, though it may not yet be apparent. You know already.
Above all, be happy. You simply do yourself and those around you a disservice if you aren't as happy as you can be. The big question then is complex, what makes you happy.
Whatever you do, keep writing! You are an articulate expressive woman who is always a delight to read.
That is an awesome post! :)
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