It's a strange thing to be faced with an attack on character, based not on fact, but on a feeling.

My very best friends are those who can call a great big BULLSHIT when required. I need that. I'm ...uhmmm... a rather strong individual, kinda passionate about my views... I need people around me who don't get bowled over, who get up in my face when necessary.

I listen, I assess, I determine if perhaps I need to suck back and reload, or if I'm still convinced of my position. I like debate, I want to be challenged. But regardless, my heart intends help not hurt.

When you are disparaged, when your person is attacked and hear through a third party that someone who claims to love you has an issue with you but doesn't value the relationship enough to say something to you, it's tough to put in perspective huh?

Attacks on character can shake you. Indirect attacks are harder still. I went through a questioning time, where I didn't trust my instincts, my perceptions.

My integrity was in question, my intentions... and it required my questioning myself to determine if I had, indeed, wronged someone. I had to be willing to assess what was in my heart, what I said, what I did... I had to be willing to ask those who were there if their perception matched - in any way - those of the accuser.

I recognize I can be overbearing. I know I talk through stress. I can completely see how this may be irritating to some. Last time I checked, people who love each other SAY something in a situation like that. Let's practise together:

"hey C, you've been talking for 20 minutes straight, shut up will ya?" in a playful but I mean it tone

or... perhaps...

" I know you feel strongly about this, I appreciate you love enough to say so and to ask questions, but I'm kinda overwhelmed with input at the moment, so can you back off please?"

There. That wasn't so hard was it?