The 'what' is so very difficult to define completely...

I mean... there are certainly elements of attraction that are tangible and for which words exist, but there are also those indescribable often unexplainable things we often refer to as chemistry. That mystery is so delightful!

I met with a friend this morning before work and we were discussing just that. How you can meet someone who is physically overwhelming, who makes you shudder at the thought, and then... after a conversation be completely unattracted. And, of course, the same can happen in reverse... where a person might not be your 'everything' physically speaking, but he or she has other things that entice you and make you hungry for more.

For me, it's certainly a package event. He can be so hot my panties melt, but he has to be adventurous, playful, open, and funny too - among a great many other things - or I'll lose interest. The whole thing fascinates me. Love exploring it, hearing others' criteria and thoughts. Stimulating stuff.

I'm at work, so I best actually do some, though I'd rather delve into this topic instead

So, I pose some questions:


what elements - physical or otherwise - get your attention and keep your interest?

what is an absolute requirement. if any exist?

what has surprised you?

what has someone done that drove you insane in all the right ways?



Nosy little bitch, ain't I? *cheeky smile*

Probing and Poking

Today the tests begin. Today, starts the western-medicine process of elimination they call determining diagnosis. Blood disorders, thryroid, cardiac enzyme levels, minieral content, tumor, MS, MD, CF - all of it, they're testing for all of it. Failure to thrive, they're calling it. Very clinical sounding, isn't it. After these tests, he'll undergo a CT scan of his brain, an ultrasound, and possibly and MRI.

The look in his eyes yesterday at the doctor - pleading, help me mom, I don't want to mom eyes.

But, I'm the parent. This is what's best, we have to find out what's wrong. Thing is... I'm so - SO not a western medicine philosophy kind of chick, that I'm not sure I DO believe that. *sigh*

So I have the name of a Chinese medicine guy, he's also an MD.

Technologically Challenged

So you all know, there are some of you who I read and would love to list here, but I simply can't figure out how - not at all a reflection of my admiration for you, or the pleasure, inspiration and evolution I experience reading you, but a clear example of my ineptness where technology is concerned!

He's Magic, and I can't fix what's hurting him.

He touches anyone who comes into contact with him, my middle child. I hear "there's something about that child" all the time. He's a delight, his spirit has a purity. He seems to feel what others feel, seems to be able to get through the normal barriers we adults construct around us. Big blue eyes that look right into your soul and just melt ya. This isn't just the extremely biased opinion of an adoring parent, there really is something about him. He engages people, even people who wouldn't ordinarily respond to a child can't help but interact with him and leave the encounter smiling. Even people who deal with children all the time notice. I see it over and over again.

I don't know if there's anything more intense than worrying about a sick child. Ya see, he's been different since before he entered this world - and he's had too many challenges in his little life. He's stopped eating now. Two days, grape juice only. He's so tiny for 4 years old - looks 3 or even a larger 2. No meat to spare on those beautiful little bones. Physically frail, but his spirit fills up a room and lifts everyone in it. This weekend, if he still hasn't eaten, we'll have to take him to the hospital - where nothing that happens will make sense to him. He won't understand, and yet I feel like he understands things we never will. I ache - and it's not like any other ache I've known.

Big Dark Abyss

I've sat down to write several times since the holidays. Nothing coherent comes, nothing that even resembles connected thoughts. Maybe overload, dunno. But hey, when the words find me, I'll release em here.