Peanut butter and dill pickle sandwiches - something I grew up on and thought the entire world knew about.... but, I mentioned it here at work, and you'd have thought I had horns escaping my scalp.

Tell me some of you have had this???

Mama, Can You Hear Me?

I can't believe it's been 8 years. I knew what today was the moment my eyes fluttered open, it never escapes me. But when I looked at the calendar - 2006 - GOD! 2006!!! Eight years!

January 16, 1998. at 6:02 pm, my Mother's Spirit left her body here on Earth for what I hope is a better place - an existence without pain, fear, loneliness, loss.

The older I get, the more I appreciate my Mother - who was very different than I am. I long for her advice, her laugh, her warmth. My children's lives would be richer too if she were still here, no question about it.

I miss you Mama.

Lunge Sadism

Let me just say.... the inventor of the LUNGE is one evil fucker. I feel parts of my ass I didn't know were there! WHO KNEW???? As to if the pain will be worth the gain... I'll keep ya posted!

Shake Your Booty

Sing it with me now.... SHAKE SHAKE SHAKE.... SHAKE SHAKE SHAKE.... SHAKE YOUR BOOOOOOOTY!

You know how when you bathe a dog, afterwards he shakes himself stupid and shit flies everywhere? That's me this week - I'm shaking it all off - at least whatever isn't working for me! So stand clear, watch for flying debris - this is my disclaimer, I'll not be responsible for injuries to those standing too close whilst I vibrate myself positive!

SHAKE

There goes the doubt - in myself, my friends, my loves

SHAKE

There goes disregard for my body - more sleep, less alcohol (not toooo much less though *wink*), making time to work my body - strong - agile (hot will be a nice side effect), nourishing eats

SHAKE

There goes not taking time to feed my Spirit - enrichment through meditating, reading what moves me, walks on the beach, singing too loud, dancing like a wild woman - it's all mine

SHAKE

There goes living by default - not cognitively deciding, standing still - is still a choice - I will move forward, I choose! ME!


SHAKE

There goes not being true to myself to make others more comfortable, holding back, censoring - I'm me. I'm a little wild, yes.... I'm not politically correct.... I don't generally do proper..... I'm a free spirit and damnit, I'm letting it loose.... FUCK anyone can't deal, get over it, move on, pout, whatever - it' ain't mine, it's yours to cope with

SHAKE

There goes forgetting how much I can impact those I love in fabulous ways

SHAKE

There goes the negative self talk, the acceptance of others' negative piles of shit - I'm erecting a force field, negative energy will bounce off it, can't get in - HA! So there!!!

Yup, I'm feeling the power! Pieces of me, returning to place... not all at once, but damn... sure feels good to know they're all still there!

My life in the last few months has been a train wreck... the engine that is my Spirit can't move me forward... the cars all derailed and bunched up and in the wrong order, strewn over fields and in the streets. The mother car, wife car, friend car, self car, professional car, child car, free spirit car, responsible car, lover car, slut car, sister car, daughter car.... and all their cargo of love, respect, consideration, fear, peace, excitement, adventure, lust, courage, honesty, vulnerability, generosity, affection, sadness, fulfillment, disappointment, playfulness, laughter, risk, intimacy, confusion, bliss, hope, euphoria, pain, clarity, wildness, betrayal, contentment, connection, delight, commitment, ecstasy, optimism, anxiety, integrity - all the things that make us feel alive - they're all toppled... spilled... mixed together. I need a HASMAT team to clean up the toxic mess, separate all the elements of humanness and put them back in the right places, get my train back on the track.